All of this information is very gender biased. I hear my story in each of yours. You are a courageous woman. It really depends if your replacement is found. It’s funny because I had just gotten out of a bad relationship and told my narc that I just wanted to have fun and nothing serious. He was looking for a BF for me, so that I don’t think he wants to be with me. IF I don’t keep the house perfect I am like his hoarding mother! Not one ounce of support from my husband or anyone else for that matter. If you have that type of person in your life RUN and never turn back!!! Had a different version to everything that happened, every time. I read it every night and it gives me strength to deal with this awful man (who, incidentally, I have known for 30 years!) So she said he sounded like a psychopath so I looked up psychopath and it came along with narcissists and I had no idea every article was me to send him to the T and it’s scary I’m so scared and you know what I can’t stop thinking about him it was about him and think about him and his house and nobody can understand why I’m doing this to myself how could you hurt me like that I don’t know I’m just trying to get by there was so much into it but try to read the 5 signs grieve 4 narcissists different than the five stages of grief for just grieving, I think I really realized when he was sick when he said to me you deserve to be raped because I was raped when I was 11 years old by family member and he said that and I cried and cried and cried and then he said it three more times in the last time I seen him he’s like why don’t you go call you know this person and I just looked at him and I know he’s sick I didn’t I didn’t even get upset I just like oh my God he’s sick cuz nobody does that. Surprisingly, he also has bouts of sexual hyperactivity in which he frequently changes bed partners and regards them simply as objects. He’ll I just figured out that it was him doing all the bullshit thst was putting me in stress levels that I lost 45 pounds . Then tells me this is why he doesn’t want to make love to me. His son and daughter could do no wrong, he would flirt with their mom and told me i was selfish to ask him to take me on a date. ?” human reaction to ritualistic dehumanizing torture over duration of life elicits hormones which render victim helpless , isolated in self imposed jail with authority & society saying…he can leave!? He had been married with 2 kids; one biologically his. It’s good to understand that they can also flip between covert and overt / cerebral and somatic, I was dated a guy who would let himself go, get deeply into learning something to flaunt his intellect, and then change his body completely with body building, in order to attract young trophy women on his arm. I said that’s fine because I don’t need you anymore! Please run, run away from this evil family. We are talking about people who purposefully make the men or women that they are with as doomed to fail , inferior and charm them like a spider even if they are not that attractive. I have been with my partner coming up to 15 years, we were childhood sweethearts and inseparable at one point( I am talking many moons ago here!) There are several things you can do to learn how to win back a narcissist after discard.. We all know that narcissists are the only people who will ever love us. My wife is exactly all these things, I never knew what a narssistic sociopath was until I married her. I want to say about my 19 years marriage experience, my husband was addicted to drugs and women. He lies 24/7about his whereabouts and we need some sort of help. thank you for sharing your pain. Reading this opens up fresh hurt for me. If you don’t react they will throw some lines at you to see if you bite. I feel trapped, and I have wasted so much time just trying to convince myself that it would work out. He can’t ever come near me again. He used to talk to me about sex with this other girl, how amazing it is and what a beautiful young body she has. Reading this really helps me as I thought I was going crazy My narcissist ex has dumped me 5 times over our 3 year period then our relationship takes this pattern He tells me he can’t live without me. He died 6 months later, but I was at his side 24/7. I don’t believe he will ever find happiness, and at his advancing age, the likelihood of him finding more “sources” gets slimmer and slimmer. She mentions how she was bored with family life, always wanting to do so big thing, felt destined, wanting to leave the family, stressed out all the time, difficulty with relationships with other women in charge-or anybody in charge, child rearing is a drain, wanting to escape to a commune, did not enjoy sex, sex is a gross and demeaning, put my sexuality down, cut me off to where I would only have sex if she wanted it, she would m*****bate with me watching, cause i couldn’t do it right. I hope you all have healed or are healing. He was doing everything exactly the way I didn’t want him to (e.g. My ex narcissist chased me put me on a pedestal treated me like I was the best thing that ever happened to them which in my opinion I was seeing where he had come from. My friends have moved retired and I am luckily in my own place. all. I dream about it every single night. These pedolphiles don’t know boundries and they will do anything…you have to be careful in choosing your partners. I wish someone told me that too. He has accused me of sleeping around from the beginning of our relationship, and I stayed because I reacted out of anger and didn’t want that to be my final decision. I had NO idea that was what their problems were. I later got an information from a friend that a spell caster can really save my marriage, i have never believed spell casting but my friend convinced me to contact Priest Ajigar and i really contacted him, after everything was done to my surprise he was gradually changing for good in just 5 days after he finished everything in his temple. And I STILL married him!! I love my son so much??? He was angry at me and was careless, therefore I was the blame. I did love him and my family. So, when I think of myself as the victim of a soul-less, cruel, arbitrary, callous and unfeeling world, I am simply projecting onto others what I myself have become. It is really helpful to read about your experience. He was lucky I like to do many things but then he would only like to do them AT HIS TIME TABLE. On your a55 sitting there boiling your eyes out because the love of your life has just fkd you off for no reason you can make sense of it. He text me asking for sex but I refuse to respond. I hope one day they realize Im a good mom. He said “hope you work it out, take care”. I answer by reminding him I wasn’t there and he knows that any bet placed while he is mad at me will not win. I found out through researching and even talking to his ex girlfriend that i believe he is a narcissistic and will use others to benefit himself. W his little belongings. He threw me off guard because I never thought he would cheat on me let alone with a type of woman he despised. He treats me like I’m nothing and only gives attention if I ignore him or move on. He is, from what I’ve read, textbook somatic narcissist, and our time together sounds almost identical to most these posts. Yet there are records of many purchases for Viagra which he never used with me. He’s a freak! When I got to my mums I was struggling with tragic loss of life from the accident so booked my first counselling session to try and deal with this. Please consider being gender neutral in the future as there are more female narcissist than I think anyone is aware of, and definitely more male victims of narcissistic abuse than is commonly acknowledged or admitted to. He tells me he loves me but, its a rarity sort of like a reassurance. As the memories of the crisis fade, he abruptly loses interest in this and in all his partners. He goses through my phone so much that I dont even trust my own phone. thing was, my family had long figured out…he wont about shit! In the beginning he would say ” I will be devastated if you leave me” Later he proposed and took it back because I asked him for a favor, if he would run an emergency errand to a radio shack. If I have been emotional or discuss how I feel. Consider it a very small price to pay for your own sanity and well-being. Still to this day she doesn’t see the point in trying to work through any of our issues. They are not trustworthy. Time went on and i noticed he would put me down a lot and say he was too good for me..(when he isnt what most people would find attractive and was 10 years older than me),he knocked me confidence even more and i felt unloved and unattractive, But still felt in love with the guy who i met and even the guy that showed he “loves” me when were in bed..so i felt confused.I started (not subconscious) to feed his ego,because i knew thats the only time he wanted me around. But…what act could possibly make someone crawl and beg for answers? Mind-games he played are just impossible to describe. I sure appreciate this site, the articles, and the supportive people here who are sharing their stories and insights. Be grateful and run please. I started thinking maybe getting bigger b**bs to Match up with the Ladies he watches in the P**n movies, yes by the way he was into p**n when I met him. He loves to hurt others and tells me he is mean because he can be mean and gets pleasure out of being a d**k. I see him for what he is now, a bully that likes to terrorize everyone in his path and he enjoys it. So yes, I do believe that narcissists are misogynists, whatever the sex of the narcissist. He was expert at hiding things from me and very convincing. In fact, they can do that even if they were the one who ended the relationship. SO STUPID! He has denied me sex for the last six months, apart from my birthday in December, and the last request was for me to record on his phone me giving him oral sex, so that he could use this as his regular thrill, and presumably not need me at all. This is the 7th month. This narcissistic injury leads him to rebel and reassert his superiority and specialness by engaging in extramarital affairs. He abused me and has the nerve to say I made him angry and I was putting our baby in danger. I got together far too quickly with NK. Neglect or failure to help is abuse! Make the decision to leave but do not tell them. When you are unable to help us recharge, we gain what we need from elsewhere and manipulate chaos to feel stimulation. They are always right ~ never, ever wrong. 5 years ago I made sure that changed. But I really (really really really) don’t want to be a person who just makes people feel crappy, used, sad, neglected, abused or abandoned. He will charm the pants off of anyone that he wants something out of. but I believe it’s the only way to save your sanity and your soul. It really makes no difference to him if you give up on him or not ~ there is always fresh supply, and finding it is one of his primary goals in life. Any advice or information would be greatly appreciated. I’m so sorry to hurt my husband. This is how they act: nice, nice, son-of a-bitch mean, OK, distant, lovey-dovey, mean, nice, indifferent, etc. Well, 3 months after he left, I finally had it. I am not someone that would leave a person for that. This is a real relief and the beginning of a new journey in life. I’m been reading about this subject because I feel my boyfriend may be one. They project who they are onto those that try to love them. It’s all about you being seen the bad one and them the innocent victim. Or perhaps you get a tear-stained note taped to your door in which they lament their brokenness and say that you were the only good thing that had ever happened in their l… Nothing like fighting a narc, although I don’t condone and do not wish this amount of suffering on my worse enemy cuz they ain’t strong enough . Before I realised what I was up against mine would appear to cry his heart out if we had a tiff and be unable to carry on a phone conversation, it was because he didn’t want to waste valuable time arguing. I try to explain to him lust only gets you so far but, what ties you are the emotional connections. I see the description and the torture and pain inflicted on most of you and it has not been like that for me. Deep down I knew he watched p**n and masterbated instead of having sex with me. Why can’t I stop being childish and stop causing problems. I could not understand how someone could go from one extreme to another from one day to another. The first one had Borderline Personality Disorder and committed suicide. They do not feel love or long to have it. He got angry and shouted at me that I knew it was good. I’d stay at my friends sometime because i felt alone,but he would text me after about two weeks and say he loves me and wants me back,but he was NEVER sorry for how he spoke or treated to me. The cerebral narcissist feels that sex is demeaning and degrading. I’m not worried about him. He was acting all along. No, he won’t leave me, I’m his world. Again, if you know of a place, or want to try to design such a place, I’m not afraid and would love to be involved. He traveled a lot to avoid child rearing…He loves his children but I would not say he would do anything for them. That sounds terrible. I have been in a relationship for 3 years with someone I now know to be a narcissist. She tried to care for me, but I could see her resentment. Though I imagine he was very persuasive and told her otherwise. I’m hoping ‘no contact’ will be enforced but understand they can also be vindictive. She only ‘loves’ her grandsons and treats them better than her granddaughters (to hurt the girls). I experienced all 3 phases. They will likely throw a tantrum, or throw themselves on your mercy crying as if their life is about to end BUT if you were to go around the corner they would put the TV on and watch it! I know that everything is fine until he comes back into the picture, and then it gets bad almost immediately. I never stop being caught off guard or surprised by his reactions. Just oral sex that’s it. The last 4 years of his life were very sad. Wow. one primary word… RUN. You will heal. The more difficult the target is, the more power and control they feel. can you see a inside a mans heart? After finally leaving…for good the last time, I have come to realize much about this disorder..and what hell i suffered in while with him and even after i left him.He was very sick, twisted in his head about sex. I just recently gained knowledge that I was raised by5 narcissistic mother.. they are alike yet they hate eachother.. funny really. He knows ive got no family. In our 4 months “together” he did more damage to my psyche than the entire 5 years I spent with the previous one, who I assume would be covert. Im sorry you feel this way and i wish nobody ever had to because all these stories though different are so similar. He was in a hurry. They are just sitting there absorbing all your behaviors and loving how much you make them feel superior. I would became a basket case telling him how upset this made me. A week later he texted and asked how good it was. I was so manipulated over 2 decades that I actually. Sure, the odd person *IS* terrible (like other narcissists maybe!) Financially. cant find anyone yet.. im so scared. A narcissist really can make a person feel like they are going crazy, and as you know ~ you didn’t deserve any of that treatment. A friend of mine once told me that it’s typical of narcs when married NOT to wear their wedding bands, is this typically true? My husband and I got married not even a year ago and now we are getting a divorce. Unfortunately he still thinks that I am unfaithful, and assumes that’s the reason I left him. To this day I have a hard time believing this. He has bashed me on Facebook and to anyone that will listen to him. I asked about the other women and the texts. I think about it all he time. He ignored me after that. I responded because my heart went out to you…I use to be that girl. He knows that I have wanted a permanent place to live since I’ve never had that, and he’s never been willing to really work toward that. I can just cut me out his life even if am crying begging him. A painful divorce or financial turmoil, and the cerebral narcissist quickly concludes that the “old solutions” (intellectual) no longer work. Look as physically attractive as possible, at all times. My own children think I need to find another person or go away since no one understands his crazy anger or hostility in my family but his family knows to shut up to stay in the will I guess. If you are suffering from severe depression, anxiety, and even PTSD (or C-PTSD), reach out to a therapist at Online-Therapist (this is an affiliate link) and get 20% off your first month’s session. Your email address will not be published. !” I said, “No,” and he left his own home. I didn’t want to embarrass him so I said good. What if the reason these two relationships were bad is because I created it and my view is skewed? He made me feel so special and made me feel like he truly loved me, he had me so fooled until I started to have dreams of his secret life. Then he bragged about it. 7 listed names.. i had to ask her who she working for, ……then she did the unthinkable,….she stole my truck. This was after church! Narcissists are unable to empathize or genuinely love another person. I couldn’t do anything, not even get up to go to the bathroom. lately i became aware that when his parents need something from him, a favor like puting together a closet they bought, he will do it but with alot of dissapproval, he loses his presios time on that, his friday is now ruined , he will do it but he is only smart enough to read the instructions, so we can just help him in the manner of obeying his commands and trusting his judgements without hesitating, etc. Fake calls and texts talking about how shitty of a wife I am and that he just loves me so much… Poor victim… Offered me to friends as I packed up making it seem like I was whore.
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