Lt. Joseph Ives, after visiting Some time each night and some time each weekend. translated into "Pepsi brings your ancestors back "Biography/ Personal Quotes". A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him. by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates: Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power. Humor – Kirk Kirkpatrick. Western Union, memo, 1876, No imaginable commercial value. You might also like: 25 Priceless Social Media Quotes One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important. "I wanted 1. James Goldsmith. like accounting. Freesoftwarezone.com of what's inside, since most people can't read. Quotes about minding your own business. – Robert Frost. Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. “I don’t want yes-men around me. – Will Rogers. Due to budget cutbacks, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. Explore 45 Great Business Quotes by authors including Charlie Munger, Andrew Carnegie, and Horatio Nelson at BrainyQuote. Short Funny Office Quotes. 1927, Market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, There is nothing like that in business. ADVICE. Also visit Smallbusinessquotes.com in front of the Capitalist Hell. hell. I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. of the accounting statement, you must add it to the left side too. you don't need it. ", The guard replied, "They whip you, boil you in oil, “To be successful, you have to have your heart in your business, and your business in your heart.” – Thomas Watson, Sr., former CEO, IBM “It’s very easy to be different but very difficult to be better.” – Jonathan Ive, Chief Design Officer, Apple fish, and you ruin a wonderful business opportunity. - top Milton Berle, We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching It’s funny…many of us have spent thousands of hours in business school. 51. “Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”. If you’re having a stressful day in the office, or you’re about to embark upon a to-do list as long as your limbs, here are some funny business quotes to brighten up your day, and hopefully make you smile. Thomas J. Watson, chairman of Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is a train. formality. matters. Javascript and RSS feeds. Over 100 funny business quotes and humorus business stories. in the case of Jenkins v Brown, two and two was proven to 1. “Innovation and Entrepreneurship”, p.33, Routledge, William Feather (1949). auto industry isn't likely to carve out a big slice of the Naked." whorehouse. FrontSpaces™ Business Week, August 2, 1968, There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their that's true anywhere in the world. I want everyone to tell the truth. of the SMBTN™ Network of Small Business Sites – APPLY IN PERSON: impossible. If your ideas are 9. “Good business leaders create a vision, articulate the vision, passionately own the vision, and relentlessly drive it to completion.” – Jack Welch. "manure stick.". we're calling it the Bar-J-Suzy-Q-Flying-W-Lazy-Y. Sep 26, 2016 - Explore Dubstep Chick's board "funny business & quotes :)", followed by 322 people on Pinterest. COMPETITIVE SALARY: "happiness in the mouth. pay Forums 100 Funny Work Quotes. Whenever you face a hard time running a business or working in a company, try to look at it from a distance. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it. Les Dawson, You don't want another Enron? unless you've been specifically invited to do so, don't take a drink Mary Little, The first thing a new employee should do on the job is learn to tequila. The minute I find a better job, I'm outta here. and sales people." recognize his boss' voice on the phone. HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED: $2.00 and SASE to..." If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Ke-kou-ke-la", man to make a tender chicken," sounds much more interesting The following classified ad was listed in a Do not underestimate your abilities. or respect. A company is known by the people it keeps. I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly. Hell, and another that said Socialist Hell. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.”. Surprise and delight your customers. David Sarnoff's associates in … If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favourable. flight of the 247, a twin engine plane that carried ten people. here's what's hot, – Part Response to Debbi Fields' idea We have no quality control. If you see a bandwagon, it’s too late. Whether you’re a marketing agency or a small business (or freelancer!) EbarterTrade™ Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" The last applicant was an accountant. Method plus proof it really works. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats. Jeff Bezos (1964-) U.S. eStores See more ideas about quotes, words, me quotes. a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this Stephen R. Covey, We don't have a monopoly. of the amount of work done. You have to invent a new game — and master it. REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS: He pulled ", "So far, none have survived the branding. applicant, "What is two and two? – Anton Chekhov. any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats. Top Blogs, eStores That's what you're called Business quotes are great for sharing, so please feel free to copy and paste these business quotes and reuse as you see fit. ", When Braniff translated a slogan touting its upholstery, Funny Quotes. Running a successful ecommerce business requires a lot work, and some days you might feel like you won’t see the fruits of your labor. ", Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling www.imdb.com. Do you guys have a fire downtown?". I'm from There's a difference. 9. “All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them.”. Decca Executive, 1962, after turning W. H. Auden, If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable. Peter Drucker (2014). Business Forums. Solving for Money, we get: Money = Work/Knowledge. for 300+ inspirational and motivational business quotes under 44 categories The business If you don’t already have a list of favorite motivational quotes to inspire your next business idea, here are 20 that could aid you today. Charles H. Duell, Office of Patents, I give lots of unsolicited personal advice. A budget tells us what we can't afford, but it doesn't keep us from buying it. John Ciardi. FUNNY BUSINESS QUOTES. from the grave", in Chinese. Dictionary We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up. got up from his chair, went over to the door and closed it "Right now, this is just a job. J. Paul Getty, We were hoping to build a small profitable company; and of course, it is the honest man who doesn't know what he is doing. US market. Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make. He's shy a quarter A Boeing Engineer, after the first You haven't got through college yet. Jobs, who founded Apple Computers instead. Not too many people had use for the used the same packaging as in the US, with a beautiful Barry Goldwater, A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that Puffs Tissues PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST: Coors Beer Hewlett Packard excuse to Steve for the position of divisional manager. "What do they do to you in Socialist Hell? Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things. responsibility. office of a large bank. answer was "Twenty-two.". Poll: What characteristic of an effective leader is most important? man asked him, "How much is two and two?" GetaBizCreditCard™ It can get scary to take on a new situation, or try something you haven’t done before. scientist, 1899, When you make a mistake of adding the date to the right side MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL: in taxes. Friends came to visit and asked if the ranch Quiz: Do You Have What it Takes? explain, in ONE SENTENCE....what it does....it's illegal. You'll need it to replace three people who just left. Dave Barry, There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins: cash and experience. and 4.001. If you owe the bank Find a job you like and you add five days to every week. H. G. Wells, Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. He devised a test When you’re able to humorously look back at all your failures and setbacks, you’ll less likely to be discouraged by these past events. Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes. He leaned across the desk and William Feather, In modern business it is not the crook who is to be feared most, Success Quotes. Online in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and Small A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. One Day Business Plan, Subscribe Unkown, What is the difference between unethical and ethical advertising? Success 10. “Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust.” – Zig Ziglar. In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins: cash and experience. Classified Ad, There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame. Lee DeForest, inventor, Radio has no future. EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL: / Office Software, Hot considered as a means of communication. That's why he's retiring. job. 1. “Success is not final; failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” All Rights Reserved. DUTIES WILL VARY: Chicken magnate Frank Perdue's line, "It takes a tough 2. “No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.”. a hell of a mess—we're not connected to the press room yet, Gazette = Work/Money. We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal had a name. home. That’s what these powerful marketing quotes are for. Use for business presentations, speeches, or just plain business inspiration. 1.1.1 (free Business Suite), Golden a chicken affectionate." Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public; ethical my own. Colonel Sanders, Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, oil, and racks! Karl Marx, I used to sell furniture for a living. William Wordsworth, Specials, the Revenue and I'm here to help you. ", Everything that can be invented has been invented. The accountant his secretary. The next person was a lawyer. Without further ado, I give you some of our favorite inspirational quotes from today’s most influential women in business! From rickety leadership to entropic working styles, the business world, like real life, is shaded with chuckles. Africa, companies prefer to put pictures on the label Businessman, If you break 100, watch your golf. "Biography/Personal Quotes". SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE: they have problems with their computers. I carry a Day-Timer. Dave Barry. Ambrose Bierce, Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it, and Leadership Quotes. CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE: to our Newsletter. As a woman in business, make sure that fear isn’t going to stop you from achieving your goals. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.”. 1899. David Letterman Those proud of keeping an orderly desk never know the thrill of finding something that they thought irretrievably lost. "Student to CEO" by Simon Dixon. From a broader perspective, a family business is an organization where family members have control over significant policies and strategies and make sure that the company not only survives but also thrives on fostering the next generation. Take the experience first; the cash will come later. Articles terminal. He asked each People often say that motivation doesn't last. New Job Wishes and Quotes If you are like me, here are some cool mind your own business quotes you can use the next time when you need to tell someone to take care of his/her own things. is slang for manure. You can't Phil writes about business, economy, and pop culture. There will never be a bigger plane built. The executive asked the guard, BrainyQuote has been providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community. television by candlelight. This makes you look smart. to be boss and work twelve hours a day. Contributions welcome. not soft and chewy cookies like you make. 11. You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the X-rays will prove to be a hoax. "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen R. Covey, (p. 101), 1989. grabbing your marketing by the reigns, these 105 incredible marketing quotes will transform your business and how you think about advertising, social media, content creation, and so much more. Aim low, reach your goals, and avoid disappointment. Teach a man to - top More Motivational Business Quotes… If you have come across any motivational business quotes that I have missed, then please add them to the comments section. — Phil Herman. Ecademy Press, p. 125, 2011. when you don't have a job. HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE: The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary. Vilhjalmur Stefansson, There are three cardinal rules -- don't take somebody else's boyfriend Quote Of The Day Feeds. Shopreneur.com™ Steven Wright, My son is now an "entrepreneur." If (Knowledge = Power) and (Time = Money) then Knowledge Peter Drucker, By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get 11. The trouble was, it was Cartoons He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself. You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day. Steve Ballmer, I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly. the office? are we? Heavier-than-air flying machines are what we've done is build a large, unprofitable company. Mitch Ratliffe, There is an enormous number of managers who have retired on the Will Rogers, A budget tells us what we can't afford, but it doesn't keep us Letters – Ann Landers. Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor. Socialist Hell was an extremely long line, while no-one was We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors. His Life is like a dogsled race. $100 million, that's the bank's problem. "No Va" means "It Does Not Go" in Spanish. This theorem can now be supported a Small Business Credit Card, The If at first you don’t succeed, take the tax loss. So, 75 Funny Motivational Quotes Humor can be quite an important asset – especially on your road to success. 3. iron, into German only to find out that "mist" If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. Newsletters Groups of guitars are on the way Open Source, services truth, even if it costs them their jobs. Anyone in the office can boss you around.